Silent Sunday

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Finding Yourself After Having A Baby

 

 Having a baby is a huge adjustment. That adjustment second time around isn't quite as overwhelming as the first time, but all the same, motherhood can take over every other aspect of your life for a while.

For some women, that is all they ever wanted, they dreamt of becoming a mum, of breastfeeding, baby massage and moments spent smelling that sweet new-baby smell that babies carry for the first months of life. For others, many of the experiences come as a shock to the system. The constant interupted sleep, the inability to get things done (things that don't relate directly to the baby) and sometimes these changes can be all-consuming.

Back when I had Milo, all the changes came as a heavy weight over me and I didn't know what was going on around me, let alone who I was any more. Days led in to nights and nights led in to days and I didn't really have a clue what was going on in between. I completely lost myself. I stopped having daily showers, sometimes I left the house realising I had forgotten to brush my teeth that morning. I would be walking around with clothes stained with spit-up and I spent many a trip on public transport, staring into space because I was so tired I couldn't think straight any more. I had gone from being a party girl, making the most of the crazy Berlin nightlife, to a single mum with PND and a zombie.

At some point I slowly started to find myself again. I would take super fast showers in the mornings despite Milo's tears, I started to apply a bit of mascara before heading out as it helped me feel like I looked a bit more human and I started to make a little effort at wearing something other than maternity jeans and a vest top. Gradually I found a bit of the old, pre-parenthood Sarah and it felt good.

When I was pregnant with Alfie, I promised myself I wouldn't take so long to make this effort second time around. Two weeks ago, the sun was shining and I was walking through the city boiling hot and I realised I was wearing jeans. This might not sound odd for those who don't know me, but for those who do, they know that I don't wear jeans once the temperature rises above 10 degrees. It was a bit of a kick for me and I realised that I needed to do something about it.

Finding clothes that fit!

Since then I have been making an effort to do those things that make me feel a bit more like Sarah rather then simply a 'mum of 2'. I've been wearing dresses and making the most of the sunshine. I've been dressing up when meeting people, wearing earings again and I've been sewing. Oh how I love to sew. It is good to make some time to do a couple of things that feel very 'me' once more. It sounds all very simple, but nothing is quite as simple with a little baby around. It's worth the extra effort and organisation though. I am me once more.

What makes you feel like 'you'? 
Did you go through similar feelings of losing yourself after having your baby or did having a baby simply change what was 'normal' for you?






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My Kind of Therapy

I've been having a bit of a tough time the last couple of months. It wasn't actually directly because of my two boys, but more everything else that life has been throwing at me of late. It's been both a wonderful and awful start to 2013 with many highs (Alfie arrival of course) and lows. Unfortunately, the causes of my anguish haven't been appropriate to blog about and so I haven't been able to make use of the outlet that this blog often provides me.

Things peaked to an all-time low a short while back and so I decided to invest in some kind of therapy. My kind of therapy. Apart from my boys, one of the big loves in my life is photography. I am learning slowly about the technicalities of the art, but my camera holds a special place in my heart. Seeing how quickly Alfie is growing and knowing there is the possibility that he could be my last baby, I don't want to miss out on all the gorgeous baby shots you can get with such a little chap and so I invested in a new lens for my Canon. It arrived today and I have already been making great use of it. The smile on my face at seeing how the shots came out was well worth it! I can't wait to get even more shots of my beautiful boys as they grow and develop.

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Forget The Terrible Two's, What About The Evil Four's?!

I've been trying to write this post for a few nights now but I have just been too excited to manage it! Here's the reason why...

Everyone has heard of the 'Terrible Two's', they are discussed and damned by every parent who has experienced them and dreaded by every parent who knows they are likely just around the corner. No-one warned me about the evil four's though! Ok, the name isn't quite as catchy as its counterpart (the alternative name was far too rude to mention hear but starts with an 'f' which I'm sure you can work out for yourselves) but it seems rather fitting for what I am experiencing with Milo at the moment!

Milo is a rather fiery child. He has his extreme moments and we have both survived many a tantrum in his short life, but since turning 3 he has been pretty level-headed really. There have of course been times when I have felt like scratching my eyes out with frustration (no word of a lie) but those have thankfully been not too often and Milo's tantrums went from involving hitting, screaming and the like, to a much preferrable harrumph and a fold of the arms. Perhaps the odd stamp of the feet but that's about it. Whining has been my main enemy and whilst that can be pretty dreadful after 10 minutes, it doesn't match the velocity of the toddler days tantrums.

Yesterday Milo amazed me with a massive screaming fit and then, out of nowhere, he flung himself on the floor and added kicking and hitting the ground to his screaming! I was actually quite bemused by that as I haven't witnessed such a reaction from him in a couple of years! I have no idea what is going on with him right now but I must say it is rather testing. I keep trying to give him time just for him, the positive attention he craves but with his constant misbehaving and the needs of Alfie thrown in, it is rather impossible at times!

If anyone has any tips, I'd be happy to hear them!






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Alfie at 3 months

 This post is a little later than normal but I've been a little snowed under with things lately and didn't manage to get the shots I wanted. Better late than never though and so here is my little Alfie at 3 month old. Alfie is growing well and has definitely built up that baby fat now with his cheeks now at full chub capacity! I can't believe how different he looks now in comparison to his 1 month photos.

His eyes are still a gorgeous oily grey and whilst they are a little darker than they were at 1 month, there hasn't been a big change. The kiss curl he originally had has sadly vanished, partly because of the amount of cream I needed to use to tackle very dry skin on the top of his head.

He still has a pretty strong appetite during the day and I am just about managing to get to him to eat every 2 1/2 hours instead of 2 but I think this is because of how little he eats during the night and I'd much prefer it that way around! He tends to cat-nap his way through the days when we're more at home with mini-naps here and there but he sleeps very well in his pram and the baby carrier which is great. The nights are still amazing. He blesses me with just 1 or two wake ups in the night and we started the day just before 6am usually.

 He can now make good use of his playmat and loves to whack the toys hanging from it and talk to them in his own little way. He dribbles quite a lot already and I have spotted his gums going white in places so I believe he's teething already. There's no sign of anything cutting through yet and I am hoping the teeth won't come through quite yet as I am not looking forward to nursing a baby with teeth! I was lucky to be able to avoid this last time as Milo's teeth came through very late.

Alfie is still an absolute smiler and he has a generally calm personality. He loves to talk and take the world in. He's discovered his hands and spends lots of time clasping them together and sticking them in his mouth. I have tried putting toy rings in his hands and he'll grasp them for a while but will let them go shortly after. They haven't made it as far as to his mouth yet.

All of a sudden Alfie has started to really make the most of tummy time and he now lifts his head, arms and feet in the air as though he's jumping out of a plane. He's rolled on to his side a couple of times although I don't think this was done purposefully, more likely accidental, but I don't think it will be too long before he rolls on his front. Needless to say I no longer can just leave him on the sofa whilst I go fetch something!

I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for this little chap.

Likes

Looking at clothing hanging from the washing line

Dislikes

Still - being awake too long

Favourite songs

The Beatles singing Roch & Roll covers

Favourite place to sleep

In his pram

Communication

A variation of noises and the odd squeel

Eats

Yummy mummy milk. Feeds roughly every 2-2.5 hours during the day and every 1-2 times a night

Something new

Can move himself around a full 180 degree circle on his back using his feet

Previous posts:

Alfie at 1 month  

Alfie at 2 months

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Milo's Bedtime Book List: Literary Delights of a 4 Year Old

I'm happy to say that, age 4, Milo is still a very avid reader and we spend a good amount of our days reading. One of the books he has loved ever since we've had it is 'The Fearsome Beastie'. This book has accents of the wicked wit of the much loved 'Roald Dahl' and really appeals to Milo. He loves monsters, he loves a bit of naughtiness and someone gets chopped with a big axe! Milo heaven I can tell you! It's also a book that is fun to read for parents as it rhymes (rhyming kids books just flow so well when reading) and there are great illustrations to go along with the fun story.

'The Fearsome Beastie' isn't just loved by us, it's been up for numerous awards even winning 'The People's Book Prize'.

It is available to buy on Amazon and in bookshops and is soon going to be made in to an animated CG short! We can't wait to watch it!

What books does your child love to read?






Previous 'Milo's Bedtime Book List' posts can be found here:
Room on the Broom
Puff the Magic Dragon
Morris the Mankiest Monster
How The Grinch Stole Christmas


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Styled by...Zulily with Voucher Giveaway

I am more than a little obsessed with Zulily and I adore the chance to buy lovely clothes for both my boys that would usually be out of my price range. The site features daily deals on gorgeous kidswear, maternity clothes, items for the home and toys and at a great discount of up to 90%!

When Zulily offered to send me some clothing for my Alfie I jumped at the chance and they came through with two gorgeous outfits for him. I particularly adore the Lilly + Sid red jumper and Urban Elk body.

Zulily have been kind enough to offer you lovely readers the chance to win a €25 voucher to spend on their site. All you have to do is enter through the rafflecopter entry box at the bottom of this post. Easy peasy eh?! Register with Zulily to get the chance to see their amazing daily deals.

We found a little time for some snuggles mid-photoshoot

a Rafflecopter giveaway







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Things I'd Forgotten About Babies

Having not been around a baby at all hours of the day for 3 years, I didn't realise how much I had forgotten about them! Not all the major important stuff, much like riding a bike, that all comes flooding back to you, more the little things.

I'd forgotten...

• How much babies fart in their sleep! Alot! It honestly sounds like I have a grown man sleeping in the room with me, not a cute, little, innocent baby! What a trumper!
• A baby's amazing ability to hold off on spitting up to just that moment when its mum takes it back in her arms. Seriously! My boy is so talented at that. I'll feed him, burp him and nothing will come out. I'll hand him to a friend for a cuddle, 10 minutes later he'll come back in my arms and then straight away out comes a bucket load (slight exaggeration perhaps) of old milk. Ugh.
• The speed at which the little developmental stages of early baby communication go also slipped my mind. In 3 months Alfie has already changed the way he communicates so extremely and I wish I had managed to get each stage on video!
• Having only dealt with the number 2's (I'm talking in polite code here of course) of a solid-eating baby/child for the last years and knowing quite how awful they are, I had forgotten that little baby #2's actually do have quite a scent. It may be a little subtler than their elder counterparts but it's present nonetheless.
• How strong a baby's grip is thanks to Alfie now grabbing at me during breastfeeding. My tops are starting to get stretched again!
• How quickly a baby's mood can change! One moment he'll be looking at me smiling and cooing and the next he'll be screaming his little head off for no obvious reason!
• That baby's smile in their sleep. Pure bliss. 

These babies are amazing little creatures!


Can you remember something about your baby that surprised you? Were you surprised by similar experiences to these?






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Meal Planning Monday - 6th May 2013

It's taken 3 months but I finally feel able to put together a meal plan that I can keep to with the two children. I am getting better at managing to cook more involved healthy meals with two, wide awake children both vying for my attention. That said, it is time to get back to taking part in 'Meal Planning Monday' originated by Mrs M. Here's my meal plan for the week (note it is asparagus season here so there are two meals full of Spargel (the German word for it)...

Roasted asparagus, pancetta & cherry tomato pasta, recipe here

Warm potato & tuna salad with pesto dressing, recipe here

Lemony prawn & pea risotto, recipe here 

Creamy chicken with asparagus & tarragon, recipe here

See anything you like? What are you cooking this week?

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Silent Sunday

Workingberlinmum can also be found on... 

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