Brotherhood: The impact of little bro on big bro

 Big bro and little bro hanging out

Alfie has been in our lives for just under two weeks now and it's weird to think that he hasn't always been with us. Time has gone both quick and slowly all at the same time and we are starting to settle in to some form of routine. It is in no way a routine that will continue for much longer, I know from experience that we are still in the calm before the storm, the time before Alfie truly finds his voice and things switch on us for a while. Something that seems to come with every baby. In the meantime though, Alfie, Milo and I are finding our way as a family of 3 and it's going well so far.

After the first week, when Milo was for the most part staying at his dad's, this week we have been back in to routine and I have had him my 4 days a week like normal. It's not all been plain sailing. There have been tantrums, oh-so-many tantrums (see Wednesday's post for more info) but in all honesty, that was to be expected and really, it's nothing I haven't dealt with before.

Alfie has been incredibly kind to Milo and I so far and we still haven't had a bedtime routine (Milo's) that Alfie hasn't slept through. This has meant that I've been able to focus all my attention on Milo and that I've been able to peacefully read him his bedtime story without a baby hanging on me too.

I've learnt to, where possible, give Alfie a big feed shortly before Milo comes home, or I go pick him up, so that it doesn't mean having to sit down for 40 minutes feeding him just as Milo comes through the door. Often Alfie is asleep so I let Milo give Alfie the strokes on the head and the cuddles that he always wants to give and then lay Alfie in his bed so that Milo and I can share our cuddles and kisses too.

 Milo and I playing on the floor whilst Alfie slept in his cot (crib)

I can't tell you how wonderful it is to play with Milo without a massive belly and aching bones and muscles getting in the way. Today we got to wrestle, tickle, play at low level and all that jazz and I could do it without worrying about being accidentally kicked or whacked in the belly and without it hurting like crazy. I could see the joy on Milo's face at having his mum back on top form and I really feel that we got to make the most of each other for the first time in quite a while and it was lovely.

Despite the tantrums, Milo is doing really well and I am very proud of how he has handled the changes so far. There have been signs of him reacting emotionally and physically to everything. He has, for example, started peeing himself again, something he hadn't done for a long time. It started about 4 or 5 days before Alfie arrived and is a bit better now but is still happening. Generally though he is loving having Alfie and likes to tell everyone about his little brother. He calls him either 'Alfie' or 'The Baby' and his new favourite question to ask people is ''were you ever a baby?''. When Alfie's laying in his cot Milo will often take up position on the sofa, looking over him and he'll yell rather loudly to tell me when Alfie has his eyes closed or open and any noise the baby makes is a signal to Milo that ''he's hungry'' or ''he has hunger'' (a bit of Denglish/German English there).

You often hear that it takes a while for the older sibling to truly understand that the baby is going to stay. I don't think this is unclear to Milo though but I think what will come is things will change as Alfie has larger awake periods and needs more attention from me. As Milo starts to have to share my attention more he may well build some resentment or jealousy towards Alfie but I just have to watch this space and see what happens.

All in all though we are a happy little family of 3 and we are finding our way on our new path.

Workingberlinmum can also be found on... 

Facebook
Instagram: @workberlinmum
Pinterest
Twitter