Friday, 16 August 2013
Finding Myself After 6 Months with Baby
Alfie is over 6 months now, in fact he's rapidly heading towards 7 months and I haven't even written a 'Alfie at 6 Months' post yet. I will, I promise! In the last couple of weeks I've been in a bit of a dark hole. There's been some stresses around that felt impossible to deal with, Milo has been in a phase of testing again and Alfie was getting much harder to keep entertained at home. Adding in 3 meals a day for the youngest member of the household added an extra level of needed organisation and after over a year of not sleeping through the night, I was just struggling to work it all out. I was tired, I'd had enough of spending every evening and naptime in my tiny kitchen and I was frustrated. When the instructor at my Wednesday fitness class (go me! ha ha) talked about how all us mums need to find a bit of time in the day every once in a while where someone else can look after the baby and we can have a bit of 'me time' I almost burst in to tears. I needed some daytime me time.
The 6 month stage with a baby is often a tough one I think. Food becomes a big deal (I can no longer eat or drink in front of Alfie without him going mental and wanting some!), sleeping through isn't always attained yet and babies start to get the urges to do and achieve things that they can't quite manage and this annoys them to the core. Don't you just know it!
It was time to make a change. After my class on Wednesday I had a good moan over lunch with one of the friends I'm taking the class with. As I was talking about what was going on in my head it dawned on me that I could make a few changes to make things at least a little better. So I did.
Milo was spending Weds and Thursday night at his dads so I moved Alfie's cot in to his brothers room and took my living room back! That photo at the top of this post. I can't tell you how much that means to me. What that signifies. With that small, yet significant change, I felt a huge improvement already. I felt freedom. I'm still stuck at home every evening and night but I have the choice of 2 whole rooms and I feel like I have my own space again instead of having to squeeze in this tiny space between the pots and the pans, with the washing machine spinning loudly behind me and the fridge buzzing next to me. Alfie didn't sleep any better in his brothers room but it still made a difference.
This evening, we had a treat. I did something I never thought I'd do and I took the 3 of us to a local beer garden for dinner. There was sadly no beer consumed but we shared a lovely pizza and both Milo and I partook of rather large ice creams each. Yum. It was great. As Milo rode his big boys bike home, I looked on with pride and tonight, Milo I am trying an experiment and the boys are both sleeping in the bedroom together! For the first time. Milo is only with us 1 night before going to his dad's again, so I figured why not give it a go and see what happens. Milo was absolutely thrilled and so far so good. Alfie woke up when Milo got in to bed but I stroked his back and left the room and haven't heard a peep from either of them. I know Alfie will be up in the night and I'll see if that wakes Milo or not. You don't know unless you try. I've told Milo it is just a practise run to see how it goes and he knows Alfie may be back in the living room after tonight, but I am rejoicing in having my living room for me again for at least one more night.
After 6 months of looking after a baby 24/7 and looking after two children 4 days a week, I am finding myself again. It's feeling good.
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